the widow. [185]

dead man, were you ever alive or was i just a seed
buried deep inside some woman you wed?
right before you crawled out of her bed
and crept down the hall.
did you think of me?
did you even for a second hesitate in the doorway?
it's just something that i’d like to know
though i’d still love you if you told me, that you just walked away

my God, what a world You love.
men bury their sons
and without thought
just walk away

and my mother’s heart breaks like the water inside of her
and my mother’s heart breaks like the water inside of her

dead man, is it being high that makes you alive?
it makes you leave behind three boys and a wife in ‘89
and as the track marks inched their way up your arms
ay mother taught my brothers and i not to call you daddy,
but to call you father.

and i believe there is something here to be learned of grace
'cause i can't help but love you,
no, i can't help but love you,
even with a heart that breaks
like the promises that you made

‘cause i can't help but love you

my God, what a world You love.

as cities burn - the widow.

for some reason, this reminds me of my life but it has nothing to do with my life. but when i hear this song. sing this song. feel this song. it's as if my life, my soul, my heart, my pain is exuding from the cracks. that this is somehow my story. somehow, he finds grace for his estranged father and somehow, i find grace for those who hurt me. for some reason grace comes easy for me. for some reason, i see the hurt in this world and still believe it can be healed.